walk on water

is it possible?

a voice within my subconscious called upon me,

to abandon the ship that is struggling through the high seas,

and to walk on the water with it.

confusing,

maybe i’m going insane I thought.

i look over at the raging and clashing waves from the deck,

took a deep breath and jumped.

//

funny…

i opened my eyes and i was walking on ice.

the thin ice carried my weight as i walked…

after a few steps, the thin ice stopped.

i looked beyond the step,

and i realised it was water.

this is where i stop walking,

i thought.

“No. Continue.”,

my subconscious spoke to me.

“You are only limited to your own boundaries you set.”,

she begged me to push myself.

and so i did.

//

i walked and walked,

and as i walked on more,

i felt a weight being lifted.

my mind felt afloat,

my heart spacious and wanting for more,

my feet once tired,

now wants to venture to the ends of the world until i can no longer be on this earth.

now I believe,

that the greatest monsters on earth,

are the ones you create for yourself.

steady storm

being still and doing nothing are two very different things.

be at peace with your friend,

be at peace with your lover,

be at peace with your family,

be at peace with yourself.

don’t let your own lies bring you down,

don’t let your own critique swallow you whole.

be steady,

be calm,

be honestly happy with you.

 

getaway car

you were my youth,

my first taste of escape.

if i could choose,

i’d still wouldn’t have it any other way.

you hurt me yes,

but you still gave me the happiest days.

now in my wisdom days,

i appreciate you as my john ross,

and that i,

in this lifetime,

can only be your betsy.

i’ve come to love,

i’ve come to be loved,

more than you made me thought i deserved.

just like a getaway car,

fast with passion,

we roared like the wind,

but weren’t destined to go very far.

you are my getaway car.

rage rage rage

coursing through my veins,

fire spreading like wildfire.

lava oozing out of existing wounds,

heat waves blurring my vision;

cooling winds blow but i ignore it and allow it to make me wilder, faster, stronger.

my rage engulfs everything i built,

everything i love.

despite all of the madness,

i hope the trees i burn, light a new path for me.

deleting instagram!! #18

I’m sorry I haven’t been able to update daily! I’ve been really living my life out there without Instagram, dealing with school, work, volunteer and going out with friends and family. I also recently started picking up on a new skill!! KNITTING!! I’m officially allowed to be a grandmother πŸ™‚

Back to the topic of Instagram, I’ve really been doing well without it! I even had many days I went out with friends and I didn’t feel left out not putting those moments on insta-story. I’ve also learnt the beauty of just keeping photographs for your own keep sake and not for the purpose of showing others. It’s so old school yet so new, especially if you consider the generation I was born into.

I loved every bit of it. I’m in a better place where I’m more in sync with my life and myself. However now I am still contemplating if I should go back to using it after my 30days are over. It’s been going well but I fear that I would be disadvantaged or lagged behind if I don’t stay in the loop with the people I know, in terms of networking for future businesses etc. I also did notice a con when I realised that I did not know what was going on in my friends’ lives. I missed out on their rants, I missed out on their good days of bonding with their families, I missed out on the dedications they had for me.

I am kind of conflicted now. However, I am optimistic and I know that when the 30 days are over, I would be sure of a decision. πŸ™‚

If you have ever done this or are planning to, do hit me up. I’d love to gather some perspectives about this as I go into settling into a firm decision πŸ™‚