i am angry at the world

I am angry at those who abuse their political power to control the innocent they rule.

I am angry at the criminals who have no remorse after being convicted of their crimes.

I am angry at the corrupted officials who decide that money is more important than the millions of innocent people they supposedly represent and serve.

How dare you have no humility to admit and take action to right your wrongs?

I am angry at the bosses who decide that they are more important than their team and control them like industrial and corporate slaves.

I am angry at the thieves who steal people’s prized possessions and even take people’s lives for material things.

I am angry at the bullies who strike down their peers be it verbally, physically, psychologically and through cyber ways.

Whatever their reason is to be doing what they do, it isn’t right- it is as simple as that. Whatever their circumstance and past, there is always an option to do the right thing over what is easier.

I am angry at myself because with every news article issued on human crises around the world, I choose to not take action yet and just remain angry at the world.

I am angry at myself for being afraid of the people I am angry at.

I am angry at myself for choosing to believe that I am a powerless 21 year old and that all I have is sorrow for the people who have been wronged by bad ones.

I am still angry at myself but I am starting small and I remain hopeful.

 

I still believe, that like the storybooks, the evil will lose and the good ones will eventually get their rest and peace. God help us all, regardless of language, race, religion, gender.

 

it’s not a bad life, just a bad day.

Today I messed up an experiment discussion and my partner and I were told off for being unprepared and so we were advised to redo it again another time.

There were 2 things I gathered out of this.

Firstly, the time you invest in something might not always translate into reward proportionally. Although I was told off for not preparing well for the discussion, I spent an entire day researching on the science behind the experiment and even with that amount of time invested, I still could not be confident in the knowledge I gathered. During the discussion, I found myself unable to answer questions I studied for and answered some question wrongly. I was really disappointed in myself and thought that I shouldn’t be angry that my efforts did not translate. I have to accept that the world is not entirely fair and some people have to study more than others to give the same results. I have to be a hard worker.

Secondly, I still struggle with pride. I learnt this as he was telling us off that we would barely pass with the answers we gave him. In my head, it was really chaotic because I was thinking that the other people in the lab could hear us and at the same time, I was processing the words he said. His words felt like piercing swords into my chest and pushing them deeper in as he continues to emphasize on our lack of preparation. I wanted to answer him and told him we did study for it, we tried very hard, so he had no rights to degrade us in such a way. But instead, I held back and said that we would do it again, and ended off with a “thank you”. I said thank you, because I realised that him telling us off is a good thing. He is telling us we lack a strong foundation in understanding of this topic and that we should do something about it. I further linked this to the future. If I can’t handle his words, how am I going to thrive in a world full of critics?

I have to admit that as I write this, a little shame, anger and disappointment still lingers. But for sure, I will channel this to positive work and I will try harder to impress him next week.

Self improvement is important, and so I set aside my pride and learn.