deleting instagram!! #1

Signed out,

deleted the app.

I’ll be updating my feelings and experiences in this 30 day journey! Even during the day itself, day and night, where I feel it is needed!

Decision:

Pretty sure you guys have already heard of the negative impacts of social media!

  • Obsessive relationship with your appearance
  • Diminishing quality of relationships in real life
  • Poorer productivity
  • Poor time management
  • Mental health issues

And more!! But these are the ones that affect me.

I just really want to spend my time in more meaningful things like spending time with family, soaking up experiences, and building on my own image without being narcissistic.

I actually did this once before in secondary school but instead, it was going without my phone for 3months AND THAT FELT SO GOOD!!

So yay okay 🙂 wish me all the best!

Update!

not today satan!! i decide who to love

Every night, I struggle in my sleep to decipher why you appear in my dreams.

Surely, you didn’t appear in my dreams with a purpose… right?

Oh god, I hope not.

It must be pure coincidence.

We are better friends. I like it this way.

For every dream I dream, feels like sin. It feels wrong because my mind and heart belongs to someone but my heart and soul yearns for you.

But I am careful.

For being with you in real life is too good to be true.

So I wrap up my wishes and feelings and store them at the back of my consciousness and pray that in the next life, maybe… just maybe… you might be mine.

freshman survival tips

Things I wished someone told me in my freshman year:

  1. Most people, if not everyone, are competitive.
  2. Get a job
  3. It’s orientation period, not semester, not year
  4. Find more utility friends than pleasure friends
  5. There’s more to life than extra-curricula in school
  6. You don’t have to befriend everyone just because of connections

Most people, if not everyone, are competitive.

  • They’ll come after all the leadership positions if you won’t
  • They’ll push you to the back of the bell curve if you’re slow

Get a job

  • You’re left with about 4 years until life really begins and allowances stop coming in.
  • Having friends in university can be costly since you’ll eat out more often.
  • You’ll find out many of your friends actually have a lot of savings in their bank account, and you don’t.
  • What happens if your friends want to go on a graduation trip and you can’t afford it?
  • What happens if you can’t find a job immediately after graduation?

It’s orientation period, not semester, not year

  • It’s not okay to have a bad gpa in the first semester like the seniors said
  • In fact, it’s a snow ball effect.
  • Consistency is key when it comes to academics & befriend your professors
  • The modules are connected and require a good understanding of the previous modules so you should study hard from the start, instead of partying

Find more utility friends than pleasure friends

  • You need friends to help you with homework if you are stuck
  • They help remind you about deadlines
  • Pleasure friends will ditch you eventually and find more “fun” pleasurable friends
  • Pleasure friends will probably have really bad GPAs and they’ll cover it up with many extra curriculars and clubbing
  • Sometimes, if you’re lucky, utility friends can become virtue friends because you start to spend quality time together

There’s more to life than extra-curricula in school

  • If you keep joining school clubs, your resume won’t look as good as those who contributed outside of school
  • Be careful and only join clubs that will really teach you something or at least help you build useful connections

You don’t have to befriend everyone just because of connections

  • Know that there’s useful connections and useless ones
  • If you disagree what the person stands for or believes in, don’t force yourself to be his Friend just for connections

let go of people who make you unhappy

There is a certain beauty in choosing to walk away from certain people in your life.

I’ve had a falling out with a small group of girls who I thought would be my girl group for life but I was terribly wrong. I have other cliques that have blossomed even as we grow individually, older and wiser.

This particular clique has managed to explicitly left me out in the dark for too long and has made me feel a special kind of loneliness. Even if I had a loving boyfriend, an ultra amazing bestfriend and supportive cliques, they managed to blind me and suffocate me like a thick cloud of smoke. It was as if I was going to fail in life without them.

One day I went to a retreat to find myself and let’s just say I’m glad I went! They thought me how to reflect on all the relationships in my life and I had mentors to consult too. Basically at the end of the day, I chose to cut them off. But I wasn’t going to be a crude dramatic woman and create a fight and announce it. Instead, I bowed out gracefully from what once was the dream team.

I removed myself from the chats, the private Instagram accounts and muted them. I wanted to a develop an empowering detachment away from them and channel that rage into my passions. And that was what I did!

After a few months, I have grown so much, compared to the few years I have been with them. I wasn’t alone in this for I had loving people around me who knew what I was going through and supported me. I really really am happier now. I’m happier to the point that I do not even hate on them now. In fact I hope they have grown without me too!

Looking back, I really do not regret my decision of leaving. I’m sure we all did not want this from the moment we met, but it had to be done. Some friends are meant to be there all the way but some friends are only meant to be in some chapters to either help you grow or teach you a lesson. They helped me become more courageous to dare to be alone(not lonely but alone) and grow as an individual. I got to find what I really wanted to do with my life and now I’m hustling 🙂

We shouldn’t be binding ourselves to people or objects; we should only be one with ourselves and our fire. So if it’s time to let go, don’t feel bad about it, breathe and let go 🙂 It’ll be a great step towards a greater you.

jack of all trades? master of none? is it really?

Why do we have to pursue only one thing in our career?

I was inspired by a Ted talk by Emilie Wapnick and this is what I learnt: Ted Talk by Emilie

There is nothing wrong with you. What you are, is a multipotentialite.

A multipotentialite is someone with many interests and creative pursuits.

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” Is what we are pressured to answer with a single answer more often than not. But why does it have to be one? Why can’t I be a doctor and artist at the same time?

The thing is no one told us we can’t. Culture and society just heavily implied it. Because of how society works, and how different people are needed for specific jobs for a society to function, we are expected to focus on a single specialty for “maximum efficiency”.

She also brought up the point that it is okay to learn many things and quit eventually. I used to feel really bad about learning so many things but never finishing it to the end. Take for instance, I stopped my piano lessons at grade 7, stopped my ballet lessons at grade 5, stop my Bowling trainings at junior college level, stopped my swimming at lifeguard level etc. My Mother called me the “jack of all trades, master of none” and it made me feel really awful. Since then, it made me really hesitant to join any new commitments just to quit in the end.

Emilie brought some enlightenment to this topic and reassured me that whatever I learnt isn’t useless and that it’s okay to quit as long as I learnt something from it. She said it’s not a commitment issue, it’s just the yearning to learn many things and that eventually the things we learn can actually be put to use whether we realise it or not.

It’s not a waste of time.

She proceeds to describe examples of her friends and acquaintances who have 3 or more job titles , who have managed to combine all their skills to create magic.

Multipotentialites, according to Emilie, have these perks:

  • Idea Synthesis

Combining 2 or more fields then creating something new at the intersection. Innovation comes at the intersections.

  • Rapid learning

We are used to being beginners because we’ve been beginners so many times in the past. So we tend to step out more and want to learn more new things.

  • Adaptability

We can use the skills at various times, based on various roles. This is important and valuable for the 21st century in order to meet the needs of a fast growing economy. There are so many problems that need multidimensional analysis to solve. And this is how multipotentialites can thrive.

Embrace your inner wiring, whatever they may be. If you’re a specialist at heart, by all means… For the multipotentialites, to you I see, embrace your many passions, follow those curiousities down those rabbit holes and explore your intersections…