am i actually maturing???

I wake up to yet another day; a new day.

But this time, I was different.

It wasn’t because of a dream,

or anything life-changing yesterday…

What changed was just…

me

How do I explain this?

I just woke up one day,

a random day out of all the days it could have been,

and decided to change my life.

As cliche as it sounds,

I wanted the change to start from me.

I didn’t want a traumatic event to change me,

or another person triggering a change in me…

I wanted to be responsible for my own life’s good outcomes.

#empowerment? #maturing?

Whatever it is,

I am really happy this is happening.

I shall do my best to keep this up!

//

I hope you’re happy for me.

I wish the same would happen to you too πŸ™‚

 

growing up too slowly?

I just turned 21 and as much as I’d like to convince myself that life is getting prettier… it isn’t.

I always have assumed that with each passing year, I am closer to my freedom and the ability to control my life and change the world. However in the past few months, I have been exposed to many things I could not comprehend with my naive little head.

My parents began showing me what they had for my sister and I as inheritance and what I would have to continue paying on their behalf as I take on some of their properties. They also showed me many investments and bills, told me of many mistakes they made and what I had to do towards the insurance policies of the family. Hearing all of that made me more knowledgeable but at the same time, anxious because I always thought that the success of my parents were from simple work home work kind of lifestyle. I was a shock being showed the background scenes and knowing that I had to begin helping them was scary for me. Don’t get me wrong! Of course I want to help my parents and I will.

On top of that, I started hearing of friends having difficulty coping with work life, unemployment, backstabbing in work, losing family etc.

All of this in such a short period of time made me feel as if my kingdom was collapsing. I felt like that realm of which I had built with the ideas of optimism and joy was just an illusion. This is leaving me conflicted because I am torn at the cross roads of choosing to mature immediately or accept that my time to mature fully will come gradually.

My parents told me that I should maintain my personality being a bundle of joy and optimism but my friends tell me that I am too kid-like in my mindset towards life.

I don’t run away from responsibilities; I work part time and study too. I have great ambitions and my friends know of it and support me. My parents say my mindset towards money has changed for the better and I am starting to get my priorities right but is it fast enough?