steady storm

being still and doing nothing are two very different things.

be at peace with your friend,

be at peace with your lover,

be at peace with your family,

be at peace with yourself.

don’t let your own lies bring you down,

don’t let your own critique swallow you whole.

be steady,

be calm,

be honestly happy with you.

 

getaway car

you were my youth,

my first taste of escape.

if i could choose,

i’d still wouldn’t have it any other way.

you hurt me yes,

but you still gave me the happiest days.

now in my wisdom days,

i appreciate you as my john ross,

and that i,

in this lifetime,

can only be your betsy.

i’ve come to love,

i’ve come to be loved,

more than you made me thought i deserved.

just like a getaway car,

fast with passion,

we roared like the wind,

but weren’t destined to go very far.

you are my getaway car.

rage rage rage

coursing through my veins,

fire spreading like wildfire.

lava oozing out of existing wounds,

heat waves blurring my vision;

cooling winds blow but i ignore it and allow it to make me wilder, faster, stronger.

my rage engulfs everything i built,

everything i love.

despite all of the madness,

i hope the trees i burn, light a new path for me.

knitting for the soul

I picked up a new skill? Hobby? Maybe?

It’s quite hard and I have mad respect for the ladies at the volunteer place and whoever who can knit!

Also, just want to take the chance to give a shout out to those who have cancer and also to the survivors! Every week I interact with patients while they undergo chemo and it has changed my perception of the disease and they people who have it.

Now that I am starting to have a better understanding of it, I feel really silly to have had the initial impression of how cancer patients should look like or what they would be like. They’re really just like everyone else, except with an extra struggle. They shouldn’t be defined by it, yet they are.

In fact, this goes out to anyone who has had to hide their medical conditions because they refuse to be defined by it. People shouldn’t be defined by the flaws and their short-comings. We should all be given the chance, to beat the odds and have a fair chance to define themselves, according to themselves.

deleting instagram!! #18

I’m sorry I haven’t been able to update daily! I’ve been really living my life out there without Instagram, dealing with school, work, volunteer and going out with friends and family. I also recently started picking up on a new skill!! KNITTING!! I’m officially allowed to be a grandmother πŸ™‚

Back to the topic of Instagram, I’ve really been doing well without it! I even had many days I went out with friends and I didn’t feel left out not putting those moments on insta-story. I’ve also learnt the beauty of just keeping photographs for your own keep sake and not for the purpose of showing others. It’s so old school yet so new, especially if you consider the generation I was born into.

I loved every bit of it. I’m in a better place where I’m more in sync with my life and myself. However now I am still contemplating if I should go back to using it after my 30days are over. It’s been going well but I fear that I would be disadvantaged or lagged behind if I don’t stay in the loop with the people I know, in terms of networking for future businesses etc. I also did notice a con when I realised that I did not know what was going on in my friends’ lives. I missed out on their rants, I missed out on their good days of bonding with their families, I missed out on the dedications they had for me.

I am kind of conflicted now. However, I am optimistic and I know that when the 30 days are over, I would be sure of a decision. πŸ™‚

If you have ever done this or are planning to, do hit me up. I’d love to gather some perspectives about this as I go into settling into a firm decision πŸ™‚