waiting ’til end of the dial

Have you ever dialed someone, and after waiting on the dial beeps for quite some time, thought of just ending the call?

I don’t know about you, but I feel a sense of guilt. The guilt stems from the fear of not trying enough.

If say the call’s purpose was to check on their well-being, those extra 10 seconds of allowing the person to pick up could help them. I feel like 10 seconds is enough to change the course of our lives. 10 seconds we miss bumping into someone, 10 seconds allows us to say bad and good words to someone, in 10 seconds anyone could die from an accident.

So whenever, I have a lazy vibe and had to return a call, I made sure no matter what, I stayed for the whole duration of the dial.

we all can get rid of a bad memory! but should we?

For years, I have been trying to warp my own reality and memory of a very bad experience.

Right after I went through that struggle, my immediate thought was to get rid of it. I wanted to run away from it because it hurt so bad my heart was hurting physically. My friends told me I’d somehow forget it with time and new experiences.

It’s been 3 years and it’s been haunting me still.

I was studying some medical articles and I found one on the current progress of scientifically removing thoughts. It stemmed from the aim to help patients with trauma. I read on with it and it was quite appealing. Then I found another article, countering that research.

It was written by a psychologist who believed that besides the possibility of losing memories that are important, it hinders the patient’s ability to learn how to cognitively move on from struggles in life. She spoke about how this shouldn’t be an option. She said that trauma or not, we should instead strive to be stronger individuals who can move forward and learn from that memory.

So I placed it into my context and I thought about it hard…

I did learn from it, in a way that now I am extra cautious and I have a stronger personality with my priorities straightened out. I’ve done that but I’m still annoyed at how my brain can have flashbacks and still cause me hurt. I want to be able to look back at it and smile because I’ve grown from it.

So I ran more articles and found that if you consciously visit the thought, the brain builds the connections stronger than ever. The article advised to think about the priorities we have so that those connections can be strengthen instead of the bad memories. It also mentioned that, with time, the connections that are neglected will fade away and break even. It does make sense. Because that’s how people warp their own thoughts. You can keep thinking that you went through something for a good few months and eventually, your brain will really register it and it then becomes a “reality”.

I’m writing this post, to commemorate me letting go of that bad experience and hoping on a better future without having anxiety from it anymore.

🙂

why is everyone in a rush?

Why is everyone in a rush?

Why is everyone in a rush to love, in a rush to get married?

Why is everyone in a rush to earn money, in a rush to be successful?

Why is everyone in a rush to be happy?

Society says we should get married young because it’s easier to reproduce when you’re young. Governments make being single in first word countries hard. Society is filled with many people who conform and follow these “advices” and so now you’re under pressure to not feel out of place in this community who made you feel at home.

Society says only people who study STEM fields can prosper and become rich. Governments make finding art related jobs difficult and pride their nations to be technologically advanced, instead of being a centre for excellence in the arts. Society is filled with a majority of people who are weak-willed and despite having a strong inclination towards the arts, lean towards STEM and work towards money. Most of them aren’t even happy with a life-long career choice they made.

Society also makes success seem a stone throw away. They flaunt the people who are young, innovative and self-made powerhouses. Governments try their best, to make youths cope with the living expenses as they transition to adulthood. But try as they might, it’s still difficult and that often leaves youths defeated and stuck in a constant rat race chase, draining out the fire within them. Society, even with the people who speak well of STEM and business career paths, is struggling together, stuck in a perpetual merry go round, unable to break free to be successful.

We do all of this to be happy. Or at least that’s the only way we know how to these days. Society has once again managed to do it again. Our thinking has been morphed to believe that we can only be happy with more money and more success. Ultimately, we are working our lives to make society happy while we are led to believe that we are making ourselves happy.

We are self-made slaves of the 21st century while the hippies enjoy the fruits of our fully functioning society and become the free people, living happy and as they wish.

jack of all trades? master of none? is it really?

Why do we have to pursue only one thing in our career?

I was inspired by a Ted talk by Emilie Wapnick and this is what I learnt: Ted Talk by Emilie

There is nothing wrong with you. What you are, is a multipotentialite.

A multipotentialite is someone with many interests and creative pursuits.

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” Is what we are pressured to answer with a single answer more often than not. But why does it have to be one? Why can’t I be a doctor and artist at the same time?

The thing is no one told us we can’t. Culture and society just heavily implied it. Because of how society works, and how different people are needed for specific jobs for a society to function, we are expected to focus on a single specialty for “maximum efficiency”.

She also brought up the point that it is okay to learn many things and quit eventually. I used to feel really bad about learning so many things but never finishing it to the end. Take for instance, I stopped my piano lessons at grade 7, stopped my ballet lessons at grade 5, stop my Bowling trainings at junior college level, stopped my swimming at lifeguard level etc. My Mother called me the “jack of all trades, master of none” and it made me feel really awful. Since then, it made me really hesitant to join any new commitments just to quit in the end.

Emilie brought some enlightenment to this topic and reassured me that whatever I learnt isn’t useless and that it’s okay to quit as long as I learnt something from it. She said it’s not a commitment issue, it’s just the yearning to learn many things and that eventually the things we learn can actually be put to use whether we realise it or not.

It’s not a waste of time.

She proceeds to describe examples of her friends and acquaintances who have 3 or more job titles , who have managed to combine all their skills to create magic.

Multipotentialites, according to Emilie, have these perks:

  • Idea Synthesis

Combining 2 or more fields then creating something new at the intersection. Innovation comes at the intersections.

  • Rapid learning

We are used to being beginners because we’ve been beginners so many times in the past. So we tend to step out more and want to learn more new things.

  • Adaptability

We can use the skills at various times, based on various roles. This is important and valuable for the 21st century in order to meet the needs of a fast growing economy. There are so many problems that need multidimensional analysis to solve. And this is how multipotentialites can thrive.

Embrace your inner wiring, whatever they may be. If you’re a specialist at heart, by all means… For the multipotentialites, to you I see, embrace your many passions, follow those curiousities down those rabbit holes and explore your intersections…