don’t force your religion on me

At the cancer centre today, I encountered a very chatty old lady.

She started off really nice and well-mannered but it started to get really weird when she started to talk about religion. To give you some background, she is a muslim lady of mix malay and indian decent. As she was having chemo, she chatted me up and struck me saying “My husband and I believe in Jesus Christ only.”. The following will be a summary because she held me up for about 30 minutes. She proceeds to confuse me by saying that she thinks that the christian bible is fake and inaccurate, adding on that only the Quran is the right one.

At this point, I was just midly puzzled and slightly defensive but I did understand that everyone would be bias and insist that their own religion is the right one. So I stood quiet and continued to let her speak. She then says that all the other religions are up against muslims but muslims are the right ones. Afterwards, she quotes me some parts of the Quran and says that the bible was a bad interpretation. She said that I should start questioning the bible and read the Quran so “I would know the truth”.

Listening to all of that was so draining. I mean no hate for the muslims. In fact, I have quite a number of close friends who are in love with their Islam faith and I totally respect that because I see them blossom into beautiful and kind ladies. What pisses me off, is when someone tries to convert others, by tearing down their religion. I see no harm in trying to convert others but I believe that you should try to convert the person by showing them the beauty of another religion instead of telling them they believed in trash.

Ultimately, I am a Catholic and although I was born into this religion, I choose to stay in this religion and I respect other religions. I personally do not believe that religions should separate us all. From what I observe from my friends of multiple religions, that the basis of all religions is a guide to be a good human being on earth. We all believe in a heaven and we all believe in hell. So I don’t see why we should hate on others just because we believe in different kinds of Gods or a God?

Just love all 🙂 (ps, a very helpful nurse helped distract her for me to leave yay)

syreina

So the world has been really messed up recently and there have been many reports of violation of human rights, terror attacks and torment of the poor. Reading the news just made me more angst everyday because I was stuck in the mind frame that I, a 21 year old, do not have the capacity to help them.

One day, I just did a moment of empowerment and decided that I could help if I want to. So I decided to create Syreina. It is a combination of 2 words- mermaid and majesty. I chose the mermaid because it’s the only human(ish) that can swim through a storm and strong currents, it can breathe in both water and air and it is harmless. I believe that human being’s kindness can brave through anything.

So it’s still a small instagram now but at least it is something. I plan to spread awareness on some issues through art in the instagram and through blogs in this website. As I do this, I will save money gradually to get some water filters to send to villages. I have already started gathering some textbooks that would be sent over to some children who can’t access full education. I managed to get the support of some of my friends which was really encouraging 🙂

Speaking of which, if you do know any way I can reach out to more small sized charities and humanitarian groups, do send me a message on instagram through @syreina

🙂 Have a great day

love letter to the boys i loved

The first one is always hard.

The first heart break.

It’s that love that we will spend our entire lives, wondering what could have been, if we did things “right”. It’s that love that we invested 1000% and thought they were the one. It’s that love that we would love them at our expense. It’s that love that we give them pieces of ourselves that we will never take back; The first love hurts the most.

It hurts the most because we arguably love the most. We love with all risks taken, we love even if it costs us, we love even when we know it pains, we love even if we know it could cost us our future.

But the worst thing that makes it even more painful is, they didn’t think of you as their first love. Maybe they didn’t even love you half as much as you loved them. We loved so blindly we didn’t see it coming, even if perhaps, there were so many red flags waving at our faces.

Yes, first love hurts. But there’s a certain beauty in this life struggle; Most people are going through it or have gone through it. Everyday, so many people are like you, struggling to see past the darkness and unwilling to move on. Everyday we deliberately find things to stay in contact with them, even if it’s just a distant view from behind. We want to stay in their bubble.

It sucks to admit it, but it’s true.

Although this is true. There is another truth in my case. I can still love another and I know it’s real love.

I don’t know if the love I receive from the guys after him are true. But I know that even after being shattered, I’m still able to love so hard. Maybe not as hard as before, but just enough for the next. And I know that my love is true. That’s probably all that matters.

Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

Yes, I might still ache from the pain a little bit from every passing memory or shiver at the sight of some places that haunt me, but I know that one day, maybe in 1 year, 4 years, 10 years, I’ll be happy, for myself, and for everyone whom I loved so dearly.

Love doesn’t hate. Love shouldn’t be selfish. From this I build my faith on that truth.

fears, fears and more fears

The fear of growing up is real. It’s beyond “I don’t wanna grow up”, “I love having no responsibilities” , “I like having fun” etc.

The fear stems from the thoughts of not being able to fulfil the dreams we had for decades, of not following the plans we mapped out for our “life goals” and of not being better versions of ourselves as promised.

I come from a generation, a batch of humans, obsessed with moving forward, obsessed with being perfect. We strive for constant growth, to fix up the problems accumulated by previous generations. Basically, we push the boundaries of what “perfect” really is. But as we as one generation, speak of such grand endeavours, we are fearful of being failures. There’s no such thing as setbacks; there’s only constant and consistent improvement.

I know in reality, this isn’t the case. But I can’t help but fear of being an adult that my own teenager self won’t look up to. I want to be that daughter who can provide for my parents a comfortable retirement. I want to be that sibling who is able to provide constant support regardless the drift. I want to be that friend who is full of wisdom and develops them to be better versions of theirselves. I want to be that wife, who loves unconditionally and unselfishly. I want to be that mother, like my own, who is forgiving and supportive. I want to be that doctor who would lay down their life for a stranger.

All these wants, are not just mere expectations. These are goals. Goals that are unwavering throughout my life and give me purpose.

These fears, ironically, although they shake me to my core and get the better of me at times, are the reason I’m stronger and more courageous everyday. I fear for my future, but it does not demise my hunger for a successful future, how ever other people’s reality paint me a dark and turbulent road ahead. I look forward to more challenges and more fears to conquer for as long as I live 🙂

motivation boost

I’m having finals in a few days and here’s some motivation boost if you need some 🙂

All the best to all of you hoomans out there!