knitting for the soul

I picked up a new skill? Hobby? Maybe?

It’s quite hard and I have mad respect for the ladies at the volunteer place and whoever who can knit!

Also, just want to take the chance to give a shout out to those who have cancer and also to the survivors! Every week I interact with patients while they undergo chemo and it has changed my perception of the disease and they people who have it.

Now that I am starting to have a better understanding of it, I feel really silly to have had the initial impression of how cancer patients should look like or what they would be like. They’re really just like everyone else, except with an extra struggle. They shouldn’t be defined by it, yet they are.

In fact, this goes out to anyone who has had to hide their medical conditions because they refuse to be defined by it. People shouldn’t be defined by the flaws and their short-comings. We should all be given the chance, to beat the odds and have a fair chance to define themselves, according to themselves.

deleting instagram!! #18

I’m sorry I haven’t been able to update daily! I’ve been really living my life out there without Instagram, dealing with school, work, volunteer and going out with friends and family. I also recently started picking up on a new skill!! KNITTING!! I’m officially allowed to be a grandmother πŸ™‚

Back to the topic of Instagram, I’ve really been doing well without it! I even had many days I went out with friends and I didn’t feel left out not putting those moments on insta-story. I’ve also learnt the beauty of just keeping photographs for your own keep sake and not for the purpose of showing others. It’s so old school yet so new, especially if you consider the generation I was born into.

I loved every bit of it. I’m in a better place where I’m more in sync with my life and myself. However now I am still contemplating if I should go back to using it after my 30days are over. It’s been going well but I fear that I would be disadvantaged or lagged behind if I don’t stay in the loop with the people I know, in terms of networking for future businesses etc. I also did notice a con when I realised that I did not know what was going on in my friends’ lives. I missed out on their rants, I missed out on their good days of bonding with their families, I missed out on the dedications they had for me.

I am kind of conflicted now. However, I am optimistic and I know that when the 30 days are over, I would be sure of a decision. πŸ™‚

If you have ever done this or are planning to, do hit me up. I’d love to gather some perspectives about this as I go into settling into a firm decision πŸ™‚

control the need for control

grinding my teeth every night,

and as hard as i might,

i just can’t get through the sleepless nights.

schedules,

back to back,

anxiety,

my vision is black.

the fear of the unknown i take to my bed,

the fear of the known i keep in my head.

when will it stop?

when will i stop?

when will i stop and breathe happiness?

when will i stop and be happy?

 

drought in the sea

Spoilt for choice,

Spoilt with riches;

Spoilt people,

With many curses.

A simple life we crave,

But the opposite we face.

What people don’t know,

Is the reality we face;

Falling in love with prenups,

Growing up with handcuffs.

Even friends that gather,

Like vultures they weather,

And wait on your storm,

To get beautiful feathers.

A simple life we crave,

But truly, it’s the opposite we face.

fish on dry land

I’m gasping,

gasping so hard for air.

I suffer everyday,

yet I pull through,

thinking about the water;

How calming the water to feel against my skin,

How a cold shock would revive my spine,

How it will wash all my worries all away.

Til’ then,

I wait,

in agonizing pain.

I long for the day,

I may rest there,

eternally.