i hate love

I don’t even know what it is.

I tried to understand what it was, both in theory and practical sense.

I tried listening to the books and movies. I tried listening to what my friends say it is. And I believed them because, everyday I come home to parents who still flirt with each other even after 20 years of marriage on top of 10 years of dating. My dad was my mother’s first. I mean, if my parents made it, surely love is very real out there right?

Having dated quite a few guys and even made it “official” with a few of them, I admit defeat to this monster called love. Or at least in this context, romantic love.

I no longer believe in love. Why does it keep hurting me? Why does it keep running away, leaving me cold? Why does it chase me, only to leave me more alone than I was at first?

Even with all of that, why do I still feed it?

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