So I’ve been submitting myself to sloth and the hypnotic forces of binge-watching Netflix and I believe it was God who led me to finally come to watch Grey’s Anatomy.
So I just started 2 days ago and now I’m at S2:E12 and if you consider the fact that I had to be out furniture shopping with my family during the day times of those days, I’d say I’m pretty proud of my progress. My homework has been giving me a little guilt at the back of my head and some may say I’m procrastinating and wasting time but as the ever great Bertrand Russel said, “The time you enjoy wasting is not time wasted.”.
Grey’s Anatomy has called me out on the many hidden thoughts I’ve had in my head from time to time. Before I go to the sad parts of this reflection, I’d like to say something happy at least.
So S2: E11 is probably my favourite episode. To summarize it for you, Izzie and Meredith had a horrible few days or even weeks that they started to hit rock bottom and started to feel alone, until they picked each other up and got a dog. When I saw that scene, oh my heart was so soft and instantly I knew I wanted that. Not the misery they went through but getting the career they want and getting a dog. I don’t know if I’ll get to have my own family or get a good husband by then but I’ll damn well work my ass off to be like them at least.
I used to have a dream with my friends to get a penthouse on the upper side of town and be hot and classy. But I never really fancied that. I Guess I grew up, and started to realize I should work towards what I want, which is to get down and dirty, live a prisoner’s life in scrubs saving people and coming back home, probably a shared home, a homey one with people who are simply themselves, ambitious and kind, real and at times sad but always true and worry about each other. To play with a big old dog and to insult each other but positively, stay in for pizza deliveries and to be able to go off without consent to grab air, but to know to have to come back during the important days.
I don’t know what life will give me but I know to a certain degree I can try to work towards what I want to achieve. God has a plan. God had a reason for everything I’m doing, encountering and deciding.
Now to the sad part! Okay, maybe it’s not really sad. But it sort of revisits my dark days. Just to give you a little context, Izzie fell in love with Alex, who can’t seem to be sure of his feelings for her and hurts her, and Meredith feels lonely and has to move on with life and feels more alone everyday. I can relate to both- exactly in the 2 situations I laid out, in the way I placed them in a sentence.
I still feel the ache of the first above mentioned situation. It hurts once in a while but let’s just say, God has given me someone who might be an example of what I deserve. He may or may not be permanent or official in my life for a long time, but I’m glad he came by and showed me that I shouldn’t be crushing myself over someone who can’t love me the way I should or see me the way I beautifully am. It’s been about a year since he left my life officially and it stings probably once a month on an average but I swear it’s getting better and I’m getting happier 😉 I really am, there’s nothing to deny.
And being lonely? I’m not anymore 🙂 Ever heard the quote, “Feeling lonely is not the same as feeling alone”. I’ve done some social cleansing and kept the ones who really matter and I’ve never felt more loved. I’ve kept people who are like my brothers and sisters, who will never leave me even if I stray, who will be happy to see me even after a bad day. Aristotle said we have 3 types of friends- pleasure, utility and virtue. I’m proud to say, I’m done with sorting them out and I’m really happy.
So I guess, thanks, Grey’s Anatomy for making me even happier about life. YAY okay I swear, I’m back to the grind when I go back to hall tomorrow.